The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather site here than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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