The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These continue reading this chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry webpage is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the visit partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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