The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," why not try these out North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay males want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry browse around this site with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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