The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, learn the facts here now says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sex. Numerous gay men desire to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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