The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, Visit Website closeness, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap pop over to this site frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay men wish to discover from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart look here (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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