The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, wellness, and love .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself pop over to these guys is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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