The Sensuality Pitfall, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, excitement, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen my latest blog post under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay guys desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sensuality Pitfall, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar